Why I Run

I was talking to someone the other day about my training runs for the half marathon I ran this last weekend. It is crazy to me, the girl who used to whine about the 1 mile run once a semester in high school, that I just ran a half marathon and totally enjoyed myself. But the training was hard, ArJay has been up in Phoenix the past 3 months for police training so fitting in training runs was nearly impossible.  She asked " If it's soo hard, why do you run?" That's like asking me " Why do you love your kids?" I'm not sure I can fully explain it with words. And, just like with kids, It's really easy to explain and complain about the hard stuff but MUCH harder to quantify the sheer joy and love and accomplishment of the good stuff. So here are just a few of the reasons I love Running.

 Running makes my love my body.

NO, my body is not perfect. I am female so I am glaringly aware of all the imperfections. I feel I have a pretty realistic view of myself. I will never be asked to model, but I probably won't be called hideous either. I'm not really skinny or really fat. Not ugly or gorgeous, just average all around. But when I run...When I run  I am strong and brave and powerful. I am amazed at what my body can do everytime I run, my body can go much farther then my mind thinks it can and that makes me love my body. It makes me proud and blessed that I have this body that can do these hard things and still work the next day.

 Running makes me Awesome

 Let's preface this one that I love my life and family and never realized the sheer joy and contentment being a stay at home mom could be. I also didn't realize how bad it can suck sometimes. Keeping it real, most days as a stay at home mom can be lonely, monotonous, and even boring. I do the dishes only to have Alianna decide to play house and get out every dish we own to "Cook". I mop the floor to have Kendall immediately dump an entire bag of Cheetos on the ground and stomp thru them because he's "being the dragon". I finally catch up on laundry to have Bryson blowout of 4 outfits in 2 hours. I am constantly being outwitted and outdone by my own children. Nothing sticks. So when ArJay asks how my day was or what I did that day, I feel like saying " Everything and nothing! It doesn't matter because you can't see any of my effort anyways." But when I run, that is concrete proof of something I accomplished that day.  It's more tangible even then just " I did a workout video". " I ran 6 miles" is irrefutable proof that I did something awesome today, and therefore I am still awesome.

 Running makes me Humble

As evidenced by that last blurb, I am a bit prideful. I'm also pretty independent. With ArJay's crazy schedule, I'm used to doing things by myself. I hate asking for help, I feel like I'm mooching or taking advantage even when I'm not. One of the things that appealed to me initially about running is that it appears to be a solitary sport. Running was something I could do just for me and not feel like I'm dragging anyone else in if they didn't want to.  The problem with this theory of mine is that I have 3 tiny humans in my house. Although she thinks she is, at 5 years old Alianna is not quite old enough to be left in charge of them whenever I get the notion to run. When I first started running, my brother was living with us, so he would watch them if ArJay was working. When I signed up for this half, I just figured I would get my runs in whenever ArJay was awake   ( See I have no problem mooching off him). But then he went for this 12 week training in Phoenix that started literally the same week I was supposed to start training. People don't ( well I can't anyways) just run 13.1 miles without any training. But We only saw ArJay about once every other weekend, once a weekend if we were really lucky. So I still had to get in 3 training runs a week. That's when Running really made me humble, to ask for help. My friend Summer ( whose kids are the same age as mine) and I started doing a kid exchange and I asked my parents to watch them a couple times. I have developed a better friendship with Summer and realized that I literally CAN NOT do everything by myself and that's ok .I've also had my best runs when running with someone. You really get to know someone when you take a long run together( probably because you talk more so you won't focus on how you feel like you are dying). ArJay and I used to run together when my brother lived with us, and those were the best conversations, my favorite dates. I ran the whole half with my mother in law and had great conversations and feel closer to her.  And, if I'm struggling during my solo runs, I think of and rely on my husband and kids and their support strengthens me to finish.  So this sport I thought I had all figured out and I could do alone has humbled me to realize that nothing in life is a solitary effort.

Running makes me part of a community.

Before I started running, and even the first couple months that I did, I never thought I could be "a runner".In fact, I was embarrassed and didn't really tell anyone but my family that I was running. In my mind, runners are those people you see on tv with long thin limbs packed with lean muscle. I know my body pretty well, and a tall thin gazelle I will never be. If you have ever seen me try to play organized sports, you are also aware that I am barely coordinated enough to walk straight. In June 2012, we went to Utah to watch my mother in law run her first marathon. I was pretty cranky about being there because Kendall( who was just over a year) was cranky. But then I saw her coming in. Her face was clouded in exhaustion but also shone with accomplishment.  And I realized that I wanted to be awesome and do something like that. Then I really looked at all the other people coming in and realized, "hey if she/he can do this, so can I". Running was just faster walking anyways right? Anyone can do that, no matter how slow. And that's one of my favorite things about running. At my half marathon last weekend, there were 4000 half marathoners. As I looked around at everyone while waiting in the potty line, I realized that there is no one type of runner. There was literally someone from every walk of life and with every body type there. What other sport is so all encompassing? And 99% of us knew we weren't going to win anything. We were just excited to be there, getting thru our training and getting there meant we already won. And we were all friends. It was POURING rain and we had a couple extra garbage bags so we handed them to the guys sharing a fire pit with us and we were all instant best friends. Being a runner is like a secret club, and when you find other people who share your enthusiasm (read: mania) you get super excited. It's like being in a foreign land and finally finding someone who speaks your language. So now I proudly proclaim that I am a runner, even if I don't look like one. I've got this whole community of friends to back me up.

Running makes me sane

So this is probably the biggest one and so the hardest to explain. I didn't realize how much I was relying on my running until I was talking to my mother in law during the half marathon. As I said, ArJay has been gone for 3 months so I've basically been a single mom to 3 kids 5 and under. The 2-3 runs I took a week were literally the ONLY time I had to myself. It kept me sane. The glorious thing about running, and probably the reason I love it now as a mom and not when I was younger, is that it is completely my time. I can do whatever I want during my run. If I have some frustration, I pump up the music and run hard. If I just need a break from the world, I listen to a book on tape and go for a nice long run. If I need to work things out, my brain works better when running. No one can ask me to get more milk in their sippy cups, or "tell him to stop looking at me", or need their butts wiped. They can't ask me any of this because I have LITERALLY run away. But the funny thing is, the more I run, the less I want to run away. Running grounds me and helps me remember that I am awesome and I come back from a run a better wife, mother, and just happier person. Even the really hard runs remind me that I can do hard things, and when you finish the hard things the triumph is even sweeter.

That's my mother in law and THAT is my "I'm awesome" face crossing the finish line at the half marathon ( don't mind that we look like drowned rats, did I mention it POURED rain?)

SO those are some of the major reasons I run. I'm sure those will change with time, but running is just a  part of who I am now, it's in my blood. I saw this sign this weekend that said " I'm only HALF crazy" ( because we ran a HALF marathon) but I plan to go FULL crazy before I turn 30. Yes I know that really is crazy if you don't run, but I bet if you started running and join our secret club, you wouldn't think I was so Crazy ;)