Our Love Story Part V: Since you went away

If you are just joining me and want the whole story, make sure and read these first:
Part I: First Meetings
Part II: Let's Just Be Friends
Part III: First Date
Part IV: Let's Just be Friends (Again)

ArJay has been gone a couple weeks and I write him a letter. It is mostly funny little stories and a few uplifting comments. ( He says that was the first letter he got out in the mission field in Philadelphia and it brought him such comfort when he was so scared and nervous about the unknown). We write back and forth a couple times. Then he sends a letter and kindly asks if we can not write anymore, because I am too distracting and he needs to concentrate on being a missionary.

What the crap??!! I wasn't saying anything wrong or inappropriate but fine! 


Months go by and suffice it to say, I have lots of fun in college.

Hanging out with Mike and Sarah

At Dances.. ( we're soo hot right now)

On Choir Tours...

In plays... ( This was Steel magnolias, thus the wicked awesome 80s clothes and Hair)

This is right before a show called Swing. Amber doesn't know it, but she is going to get proposed to ON STAGE tonight ( BTW, apparently I rocked the stupid duck face before it was cool)

 I also go on lots of dates, make some life long friends, and generally just have a blast. I honestly don't think about ArJay much, except when I hear the song " Here without you". The words are especially poignant now that he is gone and I'm here without him.

Randomly, I get an email from a Candice Gamble. She says she knows this is kind of weird, but she is ArJay's sister and he keeps talking about how awesome I am and she'd like to get to know me. She says the next time I'm in Tucson we should hang out. I reply back that I am coming to town on Thursday for a CPR class and again on Sunday for a friend's mission farewell. She replies:

" Well you don't need to drive twice, you should just stay with us."

"Is that weird?" I've only meet them each a couple times, will I look like a creepy stalker to go stay with them for days?

We decide it's fine and I go stay with the Gamble's and thoroughly fall in love with each of them. I end up spending a day with each of them. The first day I hang out with Candice and her friends and go dancing ( with her would-be spouse Clay although they were "JUST Friends" HA!). Then ArJay's dad takes me horseback riding for the first time in my life. ( I came back a couple times and ArJay's dad still jokes that he dated me more then ArJay did). Then I spend an day with his Mom and she hauls out all the baby albums and mission letters and we just talk and I think we baked something. I decide I don't care if ArJay thinks I'm a crazy Psycho. I'm not, it was Candice's idea, and I would hang out with them again because they are awesome. ( ArJay says that was the weirdest weekly letter he got on his mission " We are all here and Maggie has been staying with us. We love her" But he didn't think I was a creepy stalker )

That's my adorable mother In Law Diane

For my 20th birthday I am staying In Thatcher for the Summer and I have an unexpected HUGE birthday party. I think literally every single person in town came to my house.

My cute roommates at the time: (from Left) Me, Jenny, Janene, and Brooke

20 Baby! 

That is Jared and yes, they are actually throwing him into that giant bean bag called a Love Sac. It's a good thing we were in college because we were all idiots.

But the most surprising thing I get is a letter from ArJay full of fun pictures.

I'll give you a hint, he's the white guy in the back

Again, He's the white guy. Getting the theme here?

All class

Now it is February. ArJay will come home in June. I am dating a guy pretty seriously. He's actually my first real boyfriend. He is incredibly sweet and makes me feel beautiful. I really needed him after the last boy I really liked stomped my heart when he told the guys "I wish I could have Maggie's personality in Janene( My GORGEOUS roommate)'s body." That was of course AFTER he kissed me. Classy.  So this guy, let's call him Tom, who constantly tells me how beautiful I am and amazing and all other good adjectives really heals my heart. He starts talking serious, like the forever kind. I am driving up to Utah for a theater festival with Amber talking about it and realize I'm not ready for that. First, I will turn 21 in June and I have always wanted to go on a mission. My second thought surprises even me:

I want to see ArJay when he gets home and I want to be Single when I do.

I break up with Tom. It is miserable, he lives right next door and everyone continues to hang out and we are constantly put in each other's paths. I can't wait for summer.

It is May and ArJay writes me a letter. I write him back. He writes again and it basically says " Never mind, I can't write you, you are too distracting. See you when I get home" PPSSSHHTT Fine!

I talk to my new bishop about starting to get papers together to go on a Mission. He tells me we should "just wait until your friend gets home". I'm super annoyed. The twit won't even write me, I'm not going to wait around for him. I want to go on a mission.

In June, I have a large gathering at my house ( otherwise known as a Thursday night since there was always a large gathering at my house). There is an unknown number calling me. I answer and can't quite here the person on the line. And then I realize who it is:

"ArJAY!!"

"Actually, it's still Elder Gamble."

His parents and sister had flown out to pick him up from his mission and Candice had convinced him to call me. We talk for a few minutes but I can't really hear him and it's weird because he is still officially a missionary so I don't know what I should or shouldn't say to him.  I tell him I'll see him whenever he gets back and hang up.

Candice, his dad Scott, and ArJay in some awesome cathedral in Philadelphia when they picked him up

Candice snuck a picture of him calling me. Apparently, he went outside and prowled the parking lot like a caged animal for the whole call

I sit and ponder the reality that I have actually talked to him and heard his voice for the first time in 2 years. AND I will see him in a week! It seems surreal and exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. I don't know if I can wait a week.

Our Love Story Part IV: Let's Just be Friends (Again)

IF you missed them, you'll want to read
Part I: First Meetings
Part II: Let's Just Be Friends
PArt III: First Date

There are 6 of us we hung out constantly that first semester. Amber, Sarah, Me, Rod, ArJay and Dustin.

Everybody say "HI Dustin"

We decided to all hang out for New Year's Eve. ArJay and Dustin lived in Tucson, so we all come to them. I am not feeling so well but didn't want to miss out on the fun so I came anyways.( This proved a bad choice since I was really out of it the whole time) NO one can agree on what to do, so we end up splitting into 2 groups and promise to meet later. I am in the car with ArJay and Amber. Long story short,  It is not our night and everything we try to do doesn't work out. We miss the Midnight ball drop and kiss stuff because we are just driving to the dance and see the fireworks out the car window. It is an awkward weekend and I go back home confused and  not sure where to go from here.

I get back to school and am completely bombarded with school and the play I am in, Honk.  For weeks I get up early, go to school, go straight to rehearsal and don't get home until 10 or 11 at night. I am completely drained and miserable and not sure what to do about ArJay. He has waited multiple times at my dorm for me to come home, but ends up getting kicked out for dorm curfew before I get home. He leaves me the sweetest notes on my pillow every time. I Like him, A LOT! LEt's get real, he has seen me at my WORST. (See the walking Pneumonia And my all out cryfest for further proof).And, based on the sweet notes he keeps leaving me, he still seems to think I'm Rad.  IN Fact, I like him so much I am maybe even starting to feel the other L word. And that REALLY freaks me out. Because I am NOT, AM NOT waiting for a missionary. Missionaries are gone for 2 years and I do not want to be one of those girls who sits around and waits. Again, nothing wrong with those girls but remember I fancied myself a rebel. So we sit down to talk.

" I really like you ArJay, but I don't think I can date you seriously. You are going on a mission in a couple months, can we just stay friends? " (Deja vu to week one anyone? Oh the irony!)

"Yeah of course, you're right. It wouldn't have worked...right?"

We hug and I walk him to the door. I have this horrible sense of loss and dread, even though all appears fine. We agreed didn't we? We thought the same thing? I need to make sure we are fine.

"So I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, of course"Now he won't even look me in the eyes

But I don't see him tomorrow, or the next, and I only see him from a distance the next day. Then he has a girlfriend who is my complete opposite and a completely different set of friends.( Later he told me that he didn't agree. He wanted to date me really bad and was heartbroken and embarrassed so he had to get away for a while and find a group that didn't remind him of me. Ugh, my heart cries thinking about it.) And I don't see him much that semester. Sarah, Amber, and I go to Benson to meet up with his family for his birthday, but his girlfriend is there and it is awkward.

Now it is May and Rod is having his Mission farewell in New Mexico. A group of us decide to caravan back for it. There is a massive crash an hour outside my hometown and we are stuck for over an hour behind it. ArJay and I are sitting in the backseat and start talking.  And the months melt away and my best friend is back. My parents put up a tent in the backyard for all of us and we stay up super late talking and I realize how much I missed him.

There we are in the back both in Yellow. We were Twin-ers and didn't even know it.

Now it is June and it is time for ArJay's Mission farewell. But I am not going. We just started being friends again and I don't need to up the drama quotient. Going to the farewell will put so much unnecessary drama and pressure on a big grand goodbye. I'm just going to leave it at the bye I said at the end of school. But my Mom tells me I'm silly and I would never miss a friend's farewell so I better be a good friend and go.

We get there just as the meeting is starting and the place is packed because there is also a missionary homecoming today ( Funny story: that missionary, Cade Broderick, is now in our ward and his family are our really good friends). ArJay still spots me and insists afterwards that I come back for the big lunch thing they are doing at his house.

I got him a present. It is mostly gag gifts and funny inside jokes. Some "Sugar daddy" pants because he always said " Who's your daddy?" to annoy me. Pink girly stationary to write home, A huge box of fruit snacks. But I put in one serious thing. I cross-stitched him a picture of Jesus. ArJay opens it and just stares at it for a minute. Then he looks at me

"Thank you, I'll keep it with me always"

"You're welcome"

" Along with the Pants and pink paper"

"Well they are collectors items."

He keeps talking to me for a long time.

"ArJay, shouldn't you be talking to some of these other people. Didn't you grandma come from Utah?"

"She's not leaving til tomorrow, it's fine."

He eventually does go talk to others and I chit chat with his sister and my mom then we decide to go because it's 6 hours drive back home. He walks me to the car and I concentrate VERY HARD on not crying.

This is exactly why I did not want to come. I knew I'd just cry and make a scene. I can't help it, it's in my genes. We Weirs are criers.

I hastily say "We'll see you Elder Gamble, I'll write you." I give a quick hug and hop in the car.

As we drive home, I realize that I haven't actually kissed him since last year, that first date. So it's not the romance I'll miss, but the easy, perfect friendship that we already missed this whole semester because of our own pride and hurt feelings.  I truly am not waiting for a missionary, but I'm sure going to miss my best friend.

Our Love Story part III: First Date

IF you missed them, You'll want to go back and read
Part I: First Meetings
Part II: Let's Just be Friends

It is a few days before Thanksgiving Break and I am working up the courage to ask this super cute boy to the Winter Formal ( it was a girl's ask guys dance). We are all sitting around our dorm common room and I oh-so-suavely blurt out:

"Hey Joe( name changed to protect the innocent), do you want to go to Winter Formal with me?"

Joe looks at me with a surprised and disgusted face.

"NO, and I already have a date" Ugh "No AND"

IN the most casual voice I can; "OH that's cool, just checking, in case you didn't have a date, I didn't want you to be without one, that would suck right? Yeah so you have one so I'll just ask someone else, someone who hasn't been asked obviously. Because you have been right? " * Face palm*

"Yes..." Exit Joe stage right, swiftly

Now I am beyond embarrassed because not only did THAT just happen, everyone was still in the room for it. We are all headed to our friend's family's house for dessert. ArJay quickly realizes that I am in no mood to party and suggests we go for a walk. It is super cold and windy and I am feeling like a martyr and insist that I "will be fine"

"Whatever, grab your coat Maggie, we can huddle together."

So we do and ArJay listens to me whine and cry for the better part of half an hour as only a melodramatic angst-ridden young girl. You know the drill: " Nobody likes me!" "Why am I always just the friend?" " What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, are amazing. The boys at this school are dumb and blind."

Eye roll "Right, you know me better then anyone and you didn't want to date me."

"OK let's go on a date."

Massive Eye Roll  " I don't want a pity date ArJay, I'd rather have no date then a pity date."

He grabs me by the shoulders and forces me to look in his eyes " This is not a pity date, this is the opposite of a pity date."

A shiver goes up my spine, I try to cover "Geez,it's really cold. Let's go back."

WE go back to my dorm and ArJay says he is leaving in the morning for Utah then proceeds to give me every conceivable number I could possibly use to call him if I "need anything" ( seriously he included his Dad's cell and his Grandma's home number). So the date is set for the Saturday after we come back from Break. ( This is not the Winter Formal, ArJay already had a date. Rod bailed me out AGAIN and was my Winter Formal date)

It's finally Saturday. I have been ready for half an hour and am pacing the floor like a caged tiger waiting for ArJay. He shows up and that grin would give the Chesire cat a run for his money.

"Are you ready?" Rubbing his hands together manically

"Sure?" Said like a question because my trepidation has spiked

We first go over to the institute and play Foosball. Corny as it sounds, this was kinda a thing for us, we played all the time. We trash talk and play and all my nerves fly out the window. I don't need to be nervous, this is ArJay, I know ArJay. ArJay is safe and amazing and thoughtful and fun. Then he blindfolds us ( us being Amber and I. Amber and her boyfriend doubled with us) and my nerves go up again. We drive around for a long time. ArJay makes a frustrated noise and takes off my blindfold to explain that the dark windows in front of us are the cute little Italian restaurant that was supposed to open especially for us. Apparently they forgot. I laugh at how frustrated he is and his cute pout.

"It's fine. We can just go to R & R Pizza."

He Mumbles "It was SUPPOSED to be romantic and intimate. Not surrounded by everyone and their mom."

The remarkably thing about dinner is that ArJay doesn't watch the basketball game that is on in R & R pizza. If you have meet him, you know what a sports fanatic he is. It is a little disconcerting. I was having so much fun and feeling comfortable just hanging out with my friend ArJay. But "Date ArJay" is giving me his undivided attention and I get a little thrill of power that he really cares and this is a real live date.

"Blindfolds on one last time"

We drive around again. Then, still with blindfolds on, the boys leave me and Amber standing against the car and say they will be right back. And we wait....and wait.. and are both nervous talking. We have just started to thoroughly creep ourselves out when I hear footsteps. We are both convinced that a manically mountain man is coming to get us and I start jumping around.

"Hey it's just me, sorry to scare you."

" Geez! You nearly scared the pee out of me!"

Muffled laughter" Ok, take my hand but keep your blindfold on."

"What kind of crap date is this? Creeping me out by leaving me defense-less. What if a mountain man did come? And now he's leading me up who knows where. Maybe I don't know ArJay, what if he has been hiding his crazy and we are coming up to a cliff or something..."

My crazy thoughts are cut off when he takes off my blindfold and reveals that we are at the 50 yard line of the football field and there are candles and music.

" I really wish I could have taken you to Winter Formal, but can I have this dance now?"

I melt a little but somehow get my arms to function and lift them to his. We dance for a few songs, not talking just holding each other. I am amazed at how..right it feels." Here without you" by 3 doors down comes on. ArJay says: " I love this song" Just as I think "I bet ArJay picked this one, he loves it"
I know that because this is my best friend.

Wait this is my best friend, I shouldn't be holding him like this.I start getting nervous and look around for something to talk about. The moon is full and bright.

"Wow that is beautiful huh?"

He's looking right at me "Yeah it really is"

Then he kisses me. At first I freeze. My brain is exploding with thoughts "Gack! You are getting kissed, This is your first kiss EVER! And it's with ArJay! Your best friend! That's so crazy and weird and awesome and this is so romantic!" At this point, I realize that I am not really taking part in said first kiss ever. I swiftly tell my inner thoughts to shut up and kiss him back.

Our Love Story Part II: Let's Just be Friends

If you haven't already,  you should read part 1 first here:
PART I: First meetings

It's Tuesday of my first week in College and I am rushing to my first English class. I heard my teacher is pretty strict so I do not want to get on her bad side. Guess who is standing outside waiting to to go into my English class?

"Wow, here comes trouble." ArJay says

My thoughts exactly. I think

My new friend Marquette is also standing there so I go sit with her and of course ArJay sits on my other side. All through the lecture he keeps whispering to me and passing me notes. I furiously whisper

"Stop! I'm trying to pay attention!"

Right then, Mrs. Flamm looks up at me as she is telling everyone that she wants us "anxiously engaged in this class"

"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Ms. Weir?"

Drowning in mortification, I mumble no. I turn to ArJay, about to give him the 3rd degree when I glance at the last note he wrote:

" She convinced me, should we call your parents or mine first?"

How could I be mad at that? The flirty dialogue continues all week. On Saturday, he comes by and asks to talk.

"I really like you Maggie, but I don't really want to date anyone seriously. I'm going on a mission next year, can we just be friends?"

"Ok sounds good"

I don't want to date anyone seriously either, I have way too much fun planned. Of course, 5 minutes later he really liked this cute little blond girl. That hurts my ego a little that maybe he just didn't want to date ME Seriously. But, being the magnanimous person I am, I get over it quickly and even help him ask her out in a cute way. We really are best friends.

We are best friends when his Mom and sister and nephew come to visit and he introduces them to me first ( even before his girlfriend at the time, whoops!)

We are best friends when a group of us are watching a movie on the lawn and the sprinklers come on and everyone rushes to save their dates and tv and movies and ArJay wakes me up ( yes I fell asleep anywhere back in college) and saves me from getting soaked.

We are best friends when ArJay learns heartbreaking family news and I sit up with him all night talking it out.

My new roommates Amber and Sarah ask me why we don't " just get married already". But we are just friends.

That's Sarah, Amber, then ME when we went to Disneyland

You know, just a  typical Tuesday....

It is mid November and I am the sickest I have ever been up until that point in life( I hadn't yet known the joys of morning sickness). I am shuffling down the sidewalk to go ask Mrs. Flamm for an extension on the paper due tomorrow. ArJay sees me and rushes over.

" What's wrong?"

" I'm sick, I'm going to ask for an extension. Do you think she'll give it to me?"

" Just let her see your zombie face and she'll give you until next year"

I go to punch him but can't muster the strength. I say goodbye and tell him thanks for walking me but he'd better hurry so he is not late for his next class.

When I come out 10 minutes later, ArJay is standing waiting for me.

" What are you doing, don't you have a test?" ( Yes we knew each other's schedules that well)

He shakes his head like I'm an idiot " Like I'm going to let you shuffle home by yourself."

He half drags, half carries me back to my room. Once my roommates come in and he has ascertained that someone will stay with me until my mom gets there ( he also made me call my mom to come get me), he goes to take the test and eat dinner.

My roommates are all in the mood for hot chocolate and I assure them that I will just be laying on the couch and they are free to leave. Of course, ArJay comes back when they are gone. He is furious.

" They just left You!"

" Well, yeah. I wasn't going to drink hot Chocolate."

"But someone should have stayed!"

"And done what? Stared at me while I moaned about being miserable?"

"No, taken care of you and distracted you"

 "With what?I'm pretty sick"

His brilliant Idea is to get out the board games and we play Sorry. Or, more accurately, he plays while I watch and laugh at his silly jokes and antics. My roommates come back and ArJay reads them the riot act about what horrible rotten people they are for leaving me. I assure him it's fine and he could go. Apparently, he no longer trusts Amber and Sarah with my care, because he stays until my Mom shows up hours later. He helps me out to the car like I'm an invalid (although I did find out I had walking pneamonia so it was pretty bad) and insists on bringing out my bags. As we are driving away my Mom asks:

" So...you two are just friends?"

Yeah we are, but now I'm having a hard time remembering why...

Our Love Story Part I: First meetings

My Senior year I had a decision to make. I had scholarships to a couple colleges but didn't really want to go to any of them. I didn't want to go to New Mexico State because half my graduating class was going there and, being an Air Force brat, I liked moving and the idea of starting over where no one knew me. I didn't want to go to the school in Virginia because it was too far away. I didn't want to go to BYU because I was NOT going to be one of those girls that got married to the first guy she meet at college ( HA! Foreshadowing).  Nothing wrong with those girls, I just fancied myself a rebel. Hilarious, I know. So my Young Women's leader told me about this tiny 2 year college in Arizona called Eastern Arizona College. I went to a preview day and was sold. Big fine Arts program, lots of LDS, fairly close to home, and they offered me scholarships on the spot. Fast forward a few months...

It's the Sunday before school starts at EAC and I'm sitting outside the bishop's office with my friend Rod. He is literally the only person I know here. He was my friend back home and decided to come to EA at the last minute.

That's me and Rod at my Junior Prom. I know what you are thinking "SUHHWEEET Bangs!"

 Being the nosy person I am, I look at the name of the person who signed up before me and is in the office right now. ArJay Gamble. That's a weird name, how do you pronounce that? Just then the door opens and out he walks still talking to bishop. HEELLOO! He is tall( but I'm 5'4" what do I know from tall?), dark hair, dark eyes, and a tie covered in sheep with a black sheep right in the middle( it's the tie that did me in). He glances over, then does a double take.

"HI. I'm ArJay"

" Oh that's how you say it, I was wondering"

Pause as he looks at me expectantly

"Oh I'm Maggie, or Magdelyn, whatever you want. And this is Rod"

They do the weird guy chin bob thing that makes up 75% of guy's communications with each other

"So, I'm getting a group together to play some games in my dorm's common room tonight at 7, do you want to come?.... You both can if you want"( ArJay later told me that he thought Rod and I were a couple but he thought I was hot so he invited me anyways)

I Look at Rod for confirmation then get my own chin bob of acceptance

"Sure sounds fun, see you then!"

We show up at game night and there are 3 guys and about 12 girls and ArJay seems to know ALL the girls. I thought he was trying to be a player( I would later come to realize that this imbalance of the number of girls vs guys is just common at EA).

We start playing "Battle of the Sexes". ArJay starts telling me the answers, but they are mostly the wrong answers.He throws in a right one every once in a while to screw me up. I start getting really annoyed Dude I don't know you from Adam, go bug someone else. 

Meanwhile, one of the other girls is blatantly trying to get his attention. At one point, she even sticks her head in between us with her back to me and starts loudly giggling at him and flipping her hair around.
Have at him! I'm just trying to play the game and he's messing with my head!( have I mentioned that I can get pretty competitive?) He manages to ward off the hair flipping and is back to mouthing answers to me. So now the giggler is mad at me and he's still telling me answers. So, being the mature person I am, I give him stink eye while the hair flipper gives me stink eye.

Finally it is dorm curfew and everyone starts packing it in.  The Giggler is standing around expectantly but he walks around her and comes right next to me.

"Can I walk you back to your dorm?"

"It's just across the courtyard, it takes 5 minutes."

" But it's dark and who knows what's out there"

"Seriously, this is EA."

Rod then chimes in.

"Just let him walk you Maggie, your Mom would feel better about it"

Reluctantly, I start walking, making sure we are still with most of the group. Somehow they speed up or we slow down, and we are separated and sit in the grass and start talking. And we kept talking. When I finally made it into my dorm 2 hours later that night, I decided maybe he wasn't so annoying after all.

Why I Run

I was talking to someone the other day about my training runs for the half marathon I ran this last weekend. It is crazy to me, the girl who used to whine about the 1 mile run once a semester in high school, that I just ran a half marathon and totally enjoyed myself. But the training was hard, ArJay has been up in Phoenix the past 3 months for police training so fitting in training runs was nearly impossible.  She asked " If it's soo hard, why do you run?" That's like asking me " Why do you love your kids?" I'm not sure I can fully explain it with words. And, just like with kids, It's really easy to explain and complain about the hard stuff but MUCH harder to quantify the sheer joy and love and accomplishment of the good stuff. So here are just a few of the reasons I love Running.

 Running makes my love my body.

NO, my body is not perfect. I am female so I am glaringly aware of all the imperfections. I feel I have a pretty realistic view of myself. I will never be asked to model, but I probably won't be called hideous either. I'm not really skinny or really fat. Not ugly or gorgeous, just average all around. But when I run...When I run  I am strong and brave and powerful. I am amazed at what my body can do everytime I run, my body can go much farther then my mind thinks it can and that makes me love my body. It makes me proud and blessed that I have this body that can do these hard things and still work the next day.

 Running makes me Awesome

 Let's preface this one that I love my life and family and never realized the sheer joy and contentment being a stay at home mom could be. I also didn't realize how bad it can suck sometimes. Keeping it real, most days as a stay at home mom can be lonely, monotonous, and even boring. I do the dishes only to have Alianna decide to play house and get out every dish we own to "Cook". I mop the floor to have Kendall immediately dump an entire bag of Cheetos on the ground and stomp thru them because he's "being the dragon". I finally catch up on laundry to have Bryson blowout of 4 outfits in 2 hours. I am constantly being outwitted and outdone by my own children. Nothing sticks. So when ArJay asks how my day was or what I did that day, I feel like saying " Everything and nothing! It doesn't matter because you can't see any of my effort anyways." But when I run, that is concrete proof of something I accomplished that day.  It's more tangible even then just " I did a workout video". " I ran 6 miles" is irrefutable proof that I did something awesome today, and therefore I am still awesome.

 Running makes me Humble

As evidenced by that last blurb, I am a bit prideful. I'm also pretty independent. With ArJay's crazy schedule, I'm used to doing things by myself. I hate asking for help, I feel like I'm mooching or taking advantage even when I'm not. One of the things that appealed to me initially about running is that it appears to be a solitary sport. Running was something I could do just for me and not feel like I'm dragging anyone else in if they didn't want to.  The problem with this theory of mine is that I have 3 tiny humans in my house. Although she thinks she is, at 5 years old Alianna is not quite old enough to be left in charge of them whenever I get the notion to run. When I first started running, my brother was living with us, so he would watch them if ArJay was working. When I signed up for this half, I just figured I would get my runs in whenever ArJay was awake   ( See I have no problem mooching off him). But then he went for this 12 week training in Phoenix that started literally the same week I was supposed to start training. People don't ( well I can't anyways) just run 13.1 miles without any training. But We only saw ArJay about once every other weekend, once a weekend if we were really lucky. So I still had to get in 3 training runs a week. That's when Running really made me humble, to ask for help. My friend Summer ( whose kids are the same age as mine) and I started doing a kid exchange and I asked my parents to watch them a couple times. I have developed a better friendship with Summer and realized that I literally CAN NOT do everything by myself and that's ok .I've also had my best runs when running with someone. You really get to know someone when you take a long run together( probably because you talk more so you won't focus on how you feel like you are dying). ArJay and I used to run together when my brother lived with us, and those were the best conversations, my favorite dates. I ran the whole half with my mother in law and had great conversations and feel closer to her.  And, if I'm struggling during my solo runs, I think of and rely on my husband and kids and their support strengthens me to finish.  So this sport I thought I had all figured out and I could do alone has humbled me to realize that nothing in life is a solitary effort.

Running makes me part of a community.

Before I started running, and even the first couple months that I did, I never thought I could be "a runner".In fact, I was embarrassed and didn't really tell anyone but my family that I was running. In my mind, runners are those people you see on tv with long thin limbs packed with lean muscle. I know my body pretty well, and a tall thin gazelle I will never be. If you have ever seen me try to play organized sports, you are also aware that I am barely coordinated enough to walk straight. In June 2012, we went to Utah to watch my mother in law run her first marathon. I was pretty cranky about being there because Kendall( who was just over a year) was cranky. But then I saw her coming in. Her face was clouded in exhaustion but also shone with accomplishment.  And I realized that I wanted to be awesome and do something like that. Then I really looked at all the other people coming in and realized, "hey if she/he can do this, so can I". Running was just faster walking anyways right? Anyone can do that, no matter how slow. And that's one of my favorite things about running. At my half marathon last weekend, there were 4000 half marathoners. As I looked around at everyone while waiting in the potty line, I realized that there is no one type of runner. There was literally someone from every walk of life and with every body type there. What other sport is so all encompassing? And 99% of us knew we weren't going to win anything. We were just excited to be there, getting thru our training and getting there meant we already won. And we were all friends. It was POURING rain and we had a couple extra garbage bags so we handed them to the guys sharing a fire pit with us and we were all instant best friends. Being a runner is like a secret club, and when you find other people who share your enthusiasm (read: mania) you get super excited. It's like being in a foreign land and finally finding someone who speaks your language. So now I proudly proclaim that I am a runner, even if I don't look like one. I've got this whole community of friends to back me up.

Running makes me sane

So this is probably the biggest one and so the hardest to explain. I didn't realize how much I was relying on my running until I was talking to my mother in law during the half marathon. As I said, ArJay has been gone for 3 months so I've basically been a single mom to 3 kids 5 and under. The 2-3 runs I took a week were literally the ONLY time I had to myself. It kept me sane. The glorious thing about running, and probably the reason I love it now as a mom and not when I was younger, is that it is completely my time. I can do whatever I want during my run. If I have some frustration, I pump up the music and run hard. If I just need a break from the world, I listen to a book on tape and go for a nice long run. If I need to work things out, my brain works better when running. No one can ask me to get more milk in their sippy cups, or "tell him to stop looking at me", or need their butts wiped. They can't ask me any of this because I have LITERALLY run away. But the funny thing is, the more I run, the less I want to run away. Running grounds me and helps me remember that I am awesome and I come back from a run a better wife, mother, and just happier person. Even the really hard runs remind me that I can do hard things, and when you finish the hard things the triumph is even sweeter.

That's my mother in law and THAT is my "I'm awesome" face crossing the finish line at the half marathon ( don't mind that we look like drowned rats, did I mention it POURED rain?)

SO those are some of the major reasons I run. I'm sure those will change with time, but running is just a  part of who I am now, it's in my blood. I saw this sign this weekend that said " I'm only HALF crazy" ( because we ran a HALF marathon) but I plan to go FULL crazy before I turn 30. Yes I know that really is crazy if you don't run, but I bet if you started running and join our secret club, you wouldn't think I was so Crazy ;)

Alianna's birthday take 2

ALianna had the mystery MRSA thing on her birthday so we didn't get to do the fun birthday party we had planned. We were going to take 4 little girls to the beauty school where they do a party girl package for $10 ( they get their nails and hair done and a tiara, totally worth it!) I felt so bad and she was such a trooper about it. I was talking to ArJay and realized there was no reason she couldn't have a different party a couple weeks late. So we scrambled and quickly called up the girls and invited them over.

All dressed up and ready to party!

I was selling Paparazzi Jewelry and they had a little girls line, everything was $1. I told the moms the girls could each pick 5 things to take home with them and that was their party favor( WAAYY better then lame cheap plastic toys right? I know I'm a genius). You should have seen their faces as they got to pick out all their own jewelry to take home.

The set up, there were bracelets, earrings, rings,and headbands

After everyone had picked, we had a fashion show down the hallway. I just laid out a long strip of black material.

So Dainty

Then she busts out the drama, go figure

This is her friend Isabelle from our old Tucson ward

This is her "New best friend for life" Kayala

Showing her new bling

This is her friend Olivia from our old ward, Olivia and Isabelle are twins

This is my Niece Lyza, she's only 6 weeks older then Kendall and they are best buds, but she's starting to love on ALianna her older girl cousin

Kendall had to join in the fun of course

We also had a pinata because Alianna has been BEGGING to have one for her birthday for about...11 months.  It was rainy so i was really glad we got the pull the string kind so the kids weren't blindly whacking my furniture.

Then there was cake ( ice cream cake of course)

That  face? Pure bliss

And Presents...

After everyone left, she gave me a big hug and said it was the " best party ever she could have". I'll call that one a win, especially for the minimal planning.